DESCRIBES AN EFFECT WHICH PROVES THE PRAYER SPOKEN OF IN THE LAST CHAPTER TO
BE GENUINE AND NO DECEPTION, TREATS OF ANOTHER FAVOUR OUR LORD BESTOWS ON
THE SOUL TO MAKE IT PRAISE HIM FERVENTLY.
1. The soul longs for death. 2. The soul cannot help desiring these favours.
3. St. Teresa bewails her inability to serve God. 3. Fervour resulting from
ecstasies. 5. Excessive desires to see God should be restrained. 6. They
endanger health. 7. Tears often come from Physical causes. 8. St. Teresa's
own experience. 9. Works, not tears, are asked by God. 10. Confide entirely
in God. 11. The jubilee of the soul. 12. Impossibility of concealing this
joy. 13. The world's judgment of this jubilee. 14. Which is often felt by
the nuns of St. Joseph's. 15. The Saint's delight in this jubilee.
1. THESE sublime favours leave the soul so desirous of fully enjoying Him
Who has bestowed them that life becomes a painful though delicious torture,
and death is ardently longed for. Such a one often implores God with tears
to take her from this exile where everything she sees wearies her. [306]
Solitude alone brings great alleviation for a time, but soon her grief
returns and yet she cannot bear to be without it. In short, this poor little
butterfly can find no lasting rest. So tender is her love that at the
slightest provocation it flames forth and the soul takes flight. Thus in
this mansion raptures occur very frequently, nor can they be resisted even
in public. Persecutions and slanders ensue; [307] however she may try, she
cannot keep free from the fears suggested to her by so many people,
especially by her confessors.
2. Although in one way she feels great confidence within her soul,
especially when alone with God, yet on the other hand, she is greatly
troubled by misgivings lest she is deceived by the devil and so should
offend Him Whom she deeply loves. She cares little for blame, except when
her confessor finds fault with her as if she could help what happens. She
asks every one to pray for her [308] since she has been told to do so, and
begs His Majesty to direct her by some other way than this which is so full
of danger. Nevertheless, so great are the benefits left by these favours
that she cannot but see that they lead her on the way to heaven, [309] of
which she has read and heard and learnt in the law of God. As, strive how
she may, she cannot resist desiring to receive these graces, she resigns
herself into God's hands. Yet she is grieved at finding herself forced to
wish for these favours which appears to be disobedience to her confessor,
for she believes that in obedience, and in avoiding any offence against God,
lies her safeguard against deception. Thus she feels she would prefer to be
cut in pieces rather than wilfully commit a venial sin, yet is greatly
grieved at seeing that she cannot avoid unwittingly falling into a great
number. God bestows on such people so intense a desire neither ever to
displease Him in however small a matter, nor to commit any avoidable
imperfection, that, were there no other reason, they would try to avoid
society and they greatly envy those who live in deserts. [310] On the
other hand, they seek to live amidst men in the hopes of helping if but one
soul to praise God better. [311] In the case of a woman, she grieves over
the impediment offered by her sex [312] and envies those who are free to
proclaim aloud to all Who is this mighty God of hosts. [313]
3. O poor little butterfly! chained by so many fetters that stop thee from
flying where thou wouldst! Have pity on her, O my God, and so dispose her
ways that she may be able to accomplish some of her desires for Thy honour
and glory! Take no account of the poverty of her merits, nor of the vileness
of her nature, Lord, Thou Who hast the power to compel the vast ocean to
retire, and didst force the wide river Jordan to draw back so that the
Children of Israel might pass through! [314] Yet spare her not, for aided
by Thy strength she can endure many trials. She is resolved to do so--she
desires to suffer them. Stretch forth Thine arm, O Lord, to help her lest
she waste her life on trifles! Let Thy greatness appear in this Thy
creature, womanish and weak as she is, so that men, seeing the good in her
is not her own, may praise Theefor it! Let it cost her what it may and as
dear as she desires, for she longs to lose a thousand lives to lead one soul
to praise Thee but a little better. If as many lives were hers to give, she
would count them well spent in such a cause, knowing as a truth most certain
that she is unworthy to bear the lightest cross, much less to die for Thee.
4. I cannot tell why I have said this, sisters, nor what made me do so;
indeed I never intended it. You must know that these effects are bound to
follow from such trances or ecstasies: they are not transient, but permanent
desires; when opportunity occurs of acting on them, they prove genuine. How
can I say that they are permanent, when at times the soul feels cowardly in
the most trivial matters and too timorous to undertake any work for God?
5. I believe it is because our Lord, for its greater good, then leaves the
soul to its natural weakness, which at once convinces it so thoroughly that
any strength it possessed came from His Majesty as to destroy its self-love,
enduing it with a greater knowledge of the mercy and greatness of God which
He deigned to show forth in one so vile. However, the soul is usually in the
former state. Beware of one thing, sisters; these ardent desires to behold
our Lord are sometimes so distressing as to need rather to be checked than
to be encouraged--that is, if feasible, for in another kind of prayer of
which I shall speak later, it is not possible as you will see.
6. In the state I speak of these longings can sometimes be arrested, for the
reason is at liberty to conform to the will of God and can quote the words
of St. Martin; [315] should these desires become very oppressive, the
thoughts may be turned to some other matter. As such longings are generally
found in persons far advanced in perfection, the devil may excite them in
order to make us think we are of their number--in any case it is well to be
cautious. For my part, I do not believe he could cause the calm and peace
given by this pain to the soul, but would disturb it by such uneasiness as
we feel when afflicted concerning any worldly matter. A person inexperienced
in both kinds of sorrow cannot understand the difference, but thinking such
grief an excellent thing, will excite it as much as possible which greatly
injures the health, as these longings are incessant or at least very
frequent.
7. You must also notice that bodily weakness may cause such pain, especially
with people of sensitive characters who cry over every trifling trouble.
[316] Times without number do they imagine they are mourning for God's
sake when they are doing no such thing. If for a considerable space of time,
whenever such a person hears the least mention of God or thinks of Him at
all, these fits of uncontrollable weeping occur, [317] the cause may be an
accumulation of humour round the heart, which has a great deal more to do
with such tears than has the love of God. Such persons seem as if they would
never stop crying: believing that tears are beneficial, they do not try to
check them nor to distract their minds from the subject, but encourage them
as much as possible. The devil seizes this opportunity of weakening nuns so
that they become unable to pray or to keep their Rule.
8. I think you must be puzzling over this and would like to ask what I would
have you do, as I see danger in everything. If I am afraid of delusions in
so good a thing as tears, perhaps I myself am deluded, and may be I am! But
believe me, I do not say this without having witnessed it in other people
although not in my own case, for there is nothing tender about me and my
heart is so hard as often to grieve me. [318] However, when the fire burns
fiercely within, stony as my heart may be, it distils like an alembic. [319]
It is easy to know when tears come from this source, for they are soothing
and gentle rather than stormy and rarely do any harm. This delusion, when it
is one, has the advantage, with a humble person, of only injuring the body
and not the soul. But if one is not humble, it is well to be ever on one's
guard.
9. Let us not fancy that if we cry a great deal we have done all that is
needed--rather we must work hard and practise the virtues: that is the
essential--leaving tears to fall when God sends them, without trying to force
ourselves to shed them. Then, if we do not take too much notice of them,
they will leave the parched soil of our souls well watered, making it
fertile in good fruit; for this is the water which falls from heaven. [320]
However we may tire ourselves in digging to reach it, we shall never get
any water like this; indeed, we may often work and search until we are
exhausted without finding as much as a pool, much less a springing well!
10. Therefore, sisters, I think it best for us to place ourselves in the
presence of God, contemplate His mercy and grandeur and our own vileness and
leave Him to give us what He will, whether water or drought, for He knows
best what is good for us; thus we enjoy peace and the devil will have less
chance to deceive us.
11. Amongst these favours, at once painful and pleasant, Our Lord sometimes
causes in the soul a certain jubilation [321] and a strange and mysterious
kind of prayer. If He bestows this grace on you, praise Him fervently for
it; I describe it so that you may know that it is something real. I believe
that the faculties of the soul are closely united to God but that He leaves
them at liberty to rejoice in their happiness together with the senses,
although they do not know what they are enjoying nor how they do so. This
may sound nonsense but it really happens. So excessive is its jubilee that
the soul will not enjoy it alone but speaks of it to all around so that they
may help it to praise God, which is its one desire. [322]
12. Oh, what rejoicings would this person utter and what demonstrations
would she make, if possible, so that all might know her happiness! She seems
to have found herself again and wishes, like the father of the prodigal son,
to invite all her friends to feast with her [323] and to see her soul in
its rightful place, because (at least for the time being) she cannot doubt
its security. I believe she is right, for the devil could not possibly
infuse a joy and peace into the very centre of her being which make her
whole delight consist in urging others to praise God. It requires a painful
effort to keep silent and to dissemble such impulsive happiness. St. Francis
must have experienced this when, as the robbers met him rushing through the
fields crying aloud, he told them in answer to their questions that he was
the 'herald of the great King.' [324] So felt other saints who retired
into the deserts so that, like St. Francis, they might proclaim the praises
of their God.
13. I knew Fray Peter of Alcantara who used to do this. I believe he was a
saint on account of the life he led, yet people often took him for a fool
when they heard him. [325] Oh happy folly, sisters! Would that God might
let us all share it! What mercy He has shown you in placing you where, if He
gave you this grace and it were perceived by others, it would rather turn to
your advantage than bring on you contempt as it would do in the world, where
men so rarely hear God praised that it is no wonder they take scandal at it.
14. Oh miserable times and wretched life spent in the world! How blest are
those whose happy lot it is to be freed from them! [326] It often delights
me, when in my sisters' company to see how the joy of their hearts is so
great that they vie with one another in praising our Lord for placing them
in this convent: it is evident that their praises come from the very depths
of their souls. I should like you to do this often, sisters, for when one
begins she incites the rest to imitate her. How can your tongues be better
employed when you are together than in praising God, Who has given us so
much cause for it?
15. May His Majesty often grant us this kind of prayer which is most safe
and beneficial; we cannot acquire it for ourselves as it is quite
supernatural. Sometimes it lasts for a whole day and the soul is like one
inebriated, although not deprived of the senses; [327] nor like a person
afflicted with melancholia, [328] in which, though the reason is not
entirely lost, the imagination continually dwells on some subject which
possesses it and from which it cannot be freed. These are coarse comparisons
to make in connection with such a precious gift, yet nothing else occurs to
my mind. In this state of prayer a person is rendered by this jubilee so
forgetful of self and everything else that she can neither think nor speak
of anything but praising God, to which her joy prompts her. Let us all of us
join her, my daughters, for why should we wish to be wiser than she? What
can make us happier? And may all creatures unite their praises with ours for
ever and ever. Amen, amen, amen!
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[306] Excl. ii. See poem 4, 'Cuan triste es, Dios mio'; and the two versions
of 'Vivir sin vivir en mi.' (Poems 3 and 4. Minor Works.)
[307] Life, ch. xxv. 18.
[308] Ibid. ch. xxv. 20. Rel. vii. 7.
[309] Ibid. ch. xxvii. 1, 2.
[310] Rel. i. 6.
[311] Life, ch. ii. 14; xxxv. 13. Castle, M. vii. ch. iv. 21 . Found. ch.
i. 6, 7.
[312] Way of Perf. ch. i.
[313] III Reg. xix. 10.
[314] Ps. cxiii. 3; Exod. xiv. and Jos. iii.
[315] 'When St. Martin was dying, his brethren said to him: 'Why, dear
Father, will you leave us? Or to whom can you commit us in our desolation?
We know, indeed, that you desire to be with Christ, but your reward above is
safe and will not be diminished by delay; rather have pity on us whom you
are leaving desolate.' Then Martin, always pitiful, moved by these
lamentations, is said to have burst into tears. Turning to God, he replied
to the mourners around him only by crying: 'O Lord, if I am still necessary
to Thy people, I do not shrink from toil; Thy will be done.' (Sulpitius
Severus, Life of St. Martin, letter 3.)
[316] Way of Perf.. ch. xvii. 4; xix. 6.
[317] Life, ch. xxix. 12.
[318] Compare with this what we have said in note 1 to the second chapter of
the Fourth Mansions. Rel. ii. 12.
[319] Life, ch. xix. 1-3.
[320] Way of Perf. ch. xix. 6. Life, ch. xviii. 12 sqq.
[321] Philippus a SS. Trinit. l.c. p. iii. tr. i. disc. iv. art. 5. Antonius
a Sp. S. l.c. tr. iv. n.156.
[322] Rel. ii. 12.
[323] St. Luke xv. 23.
[324] 'He plunged into a large forest, and there in a loud voice and in
French, he made the echoes resound with the praises of God. Some robbers,
attracted by his singing, rushed out upon him. But the sight of so poor a
man destroyed their hopes of booty. They questioned him, and Francis gave
them no answer beyond saying in allegorical language: 'I am the herald of
the great King!' The robbers considered themselves insulted by these words.
They threw themselves upon him, beat him severely, and went off after having
thrown him into a ditch full of snow. This treatment only added fire to the
zeal of Francis. He sang his holy canticles with greater love than
before.' (Rev. Father L+¬on, Lives of the Saints of the Order of St. Francis,
vol. 1, ch, i,)
[325] 'St. Peter of Alcantara, in the jubilation of his soul through the
impetuosity of divine love, was occasionally unable to refrain from singing
the divine praises aloud in a wonderful manner. To do this more freely, he
sometimes went into the woods where the peasants who heard him sing took him
for one who was beside himself.' (Rev. Alban Butler, Lives of the Saints.)
[326] Way of Perf. ch. ii. 8; iii. i; viii. 1.
[327] Compare with this what has been said in the fourth chapter of this
Mansion, -º 17, note 17.
[328] Melancholia here as elsewhere means hysteria.
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